Saturday on the beach was a different story. Some day picnickers were drinking and having a good time. Desi and I were playing in the sand. These people were a bit worrisome because of throwing rocks, but.....boys like to throw rocks. Then one of the boys, about 12 or so, wanted his tennis shoes out of the car. He made the mistake of asking his drunken mama for the keys. I wanted to say to that child "don't ask anything of a drunk!". Then he made another fatal mistake when he tried to reason with his intoxicated mama. We left the beach as she was slapping his face. Desirae was interested in a horrifying sort of way.
We returned a 1/2 hr later to find the drunken daddies sitting on the beach, throwing rocks. Luckily our new friends were on another part of the beach and provided a nice distraction. The 13 year old girls were diving off the big rock into a deep pool. We played in the shallow parts until the drunks left.
Monday brought another type to the beach. The animal abuser. An old man, hitting his dog on the head with the hard retractor on the leach, then picking the dog up and throwing it. UUUGGH!
A cross section of society that I NEVER expose myself to any longer. I see it coming, and run the other way. I'm very grateful for learning this lesson. Until Alanon, I invited all kinds of scary people into my life. God looked out for me, and gave me warnings, and I heeded them in a contained sort of way. ("I'm never doing that again!", but something a bit similar was okay). Just enough to keep me semi-safe. My psyche was never safe, like it is today. I allowed myself and the family to watch horrible things in movies. Nick was never safe like Desi is today. And sadly, he has to pay for my ignorance. Thankfully Desi will grow up with parents who are in tact, and making better judgments about what we allow in our lives.
Brenda,
ReplyDeleteI often describe my life in those terms. This life is so different than my upbringing, and a world away from all the things I experienced as a social worker. I've often felt guilty for that, but you have so rightly pointed out it isn't good to raise children in chaos. (Our nomadic lifestyle is enough for my babes.) As my children grow, and become stronger, we will have many opportunites to minister to those in need.
I'm glad you are finding that balance in your life to raise Desi in a good environment. Not only for her, but for you too!
Oh so many thoughts/memories ran threw my mind as I read this. It is so sweet to know that we don't have to pass some of the ugly stuff down to our kids, and we can be good examples to those around us.
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