He's still being counted

I was just looking over my bit about me here on the right. It says we have 2 cats, but Gabriel died, so we have one now. I wanted to do a follow up story about this subject.

Crystal, our case worker with Developmental Disabilities, paid us a visit the other day. She was meeting Desirae for the first time. She asked Desirae about her pets, and Desi responded that she has 2 cats. "Their names are Gabriel and Lily, and Gabriel died".

Apparently Gabriel is still with us, at least he is still being counted. Too cute.

Oh Christmas Tree!

Our Christmas tree, this year, was the biggest I've ever experienced. Our trees of the past have been small table top trees because of cats, kid, and dog. The last few years we've went into Willamette Nat'l Forest and cut a small tree. Family fun! This year we went to a tree farm and Dave insisted on cutting our own, even though they had a man with a chain saw available. He did accept help carrying this beauty to the car, where it was tied on top of the station wagon.

Dave fit the tree into the stand and strung the lights. We didn't have enough blinking lights, so only the top half of the tree blinked with multi-colored lights. The bottom tree was adorned in red lights. We'll be purchasing all blinking lights on after Christmas clearance sales for next year.

Here's Dave dressing the tree with the topper we bought together our first Christmas. He had an idea of what he wanted for a top, and we searched and searched for it that Christmas, finally finding it in a specialty shop at Stoneridge Mall in San Ramon, CA.

Here's the biggest reason for putting up a grand tree! Christmas Morning arrived!

I was so missing Nick while I decorated the rest of the tree. So, here's his corner of the tree. This was his hand when he was 6, and a picture of him the same year. A few of his "first" ornaments, and the "n" he made while I decorated the hand. There are more, too many to squeeze into one picture.
Do any of my Brown cousins recognize this?

How about this? These two ornaments were hand made by Grandpa Brown, oh so many years ago.
This Jingle Beanie was the beginning of Desirae's collection. Her Grandma Lynn decorated her tree with these for Desi's first Christmas.
And this is our newest ornament. Desirae made it in Kindergarten this year. Perfect!

Too much to do, so little lifetime!

My blog is always seriously behind. I have ideas and pictures of camping trips that never made it here. I have pics of produce that never made it here....and on it goes. Seriously, life is too short for all the things I want to do. I have a craft room full of fun stuff I dabble in. I have a small garden I dabble in. I have a dog and we walk, and I have a daughter that dances and I love to read. I want to listen to talk radio, music---not just Rock, I want some Classical thrown in too. But then, I love the sound of silence. I must have silence while I read or I get distracted. And I love to read. I love Face book, and playing games. I must prioritize, and that means people and pets come first. I love to shop, I even love grocery shopping. What's a girl to do? I pray for more hours in every day, but I only get those when I steal from my sleep time. Others have a bucket list....nice idea, I'm too busy doing stuff I already like to do. Oh, yeah....I LOVE LOVE LOVE not going to a boring job every day. So, that's on my list of stuff I want to do, get paid for doing something I like. It shouldn't be hard, since there is so much fun stuff. Anyone want to pay me to read....or blog...or walk their dog?

Dinner at the Buffet City

Our favorite Chinese buffet changed hands and names. It used to be called China Sun. It used to have huge fish tanks with all kinds of fresh water fish. It still has a little goldfish pond, but the huge fish tank turned into a glass mural. Pretty....but not as exciting for Desirae.

I was a bit disappointed and didn't take pictures. I should have, we all looked great. Desi in her new sweater outfit from Nancy, I sported makeup AND jewlery, and Dave looked nice in a new (from GoodWill) button down sport shirt.

With each of my kids, I stopped wearing jewelery, cause they would grab it. Nick broke a beautiful necklace I had made in the Hayward (CA) DMV. Atleast there were plenty of people in line to help me retrieve all those beads! And I learned a lesson. So, finding just the right jewelery was tricky because it all felt like "too much". I've learned to use a very light hand with the makeup. If I used as much as when I was a teen, I'd look like Tammy Faye! Plus it makes me look old, I think. I rarely wear it any more.

An interesting thing about the buffet is the way we viewed the food. Food is fuel for our bodies, and dinner hour is social hour. I make healthy meals. Last night we heard Desirae utter the words "Uh-oh, I'm full", and then she ate more! We finally took her bowl of ice cream away because she was taking such tiny bites....for taste, because her tummy was full. No one worried about calories or if it was healthy (except Dave who has to mind his gluten and dairy). It was foodaholism on the loose! And from looking at our neighboring diners, we were not the only ones.

I'm sure Desi is looking forward to next year....or the year she can say "let's go to the place where I get to feed pennies to the fish". She really got into the spirit of eating....but then, she is her parents child! Today, it's back to the same old routine of fruits and veggies. And that's a very good thing.

God is Bigger than our Problems

I was remembering yesterday about working my 2nd step for the second time. Step 2 is "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity". In this step we look at the insanity and develop an image of our Higher Power.

I worked with a man who wore the little Jewish cap to work every day. Occasionally we took breaks together, and would get a bit philosophical in conversation. His grandfather is a Rabbi, a Jewish priest. So this is a story from the old Rabbi.

Grandfather and grandson were looking at the stars. Grandfather asked the grandson to look towards the brightest star. That star is called Truth, and Truth is God. Then he asked the boy to point to the star, and Grandfather explained how the hand pointing to the star represents Religion. Imagine all the different arms pointing to the one same star.

I just loved this story, because it gave me so much perspective on Religion. Growing up, I was taught that only a select few were going to heaven. The Catholics weren't. Neither were unbaptized babies. So, in not being able to look outside the box for myself, I somewhat rejected religion and a belief in God. Not totally, but I couldn't come to terms with believing in a Hellish and Fearsome God.

My step 2 gave me permission to create God in an image that works well for me. And I went back to the the Lutheran Church (ELCA this time instead of Missouri Synod) and it worked.

Then came the time of Lynn and Elvin's passings....and once again I was questioning....Lynn was Pagan, and Elvin really wanted to go be with his wife. A lot of soul searching.....a lot step 2 stuff came up again. Well, God is just bigger than our problems. That's my final conclusion. Paganism is another hand pointing at the same God Star of Truth.

It's a lesson in limits and containment. God is not limited to my thinking or teachings. (S)he is not limited to the bible. The bible says that God is Omnipotent, and Omniscient and Omnipresent. The bible taught me that God is bigger than the bible, I just didn't get it way back then.

Every day I thank God for leading me to my wonderful program of Faith through the 12 Steps. A life without Faith only looks like a life on the outside. It's a sad life to live.

Home made chicken soup

I make this quite often. It's quite a process, so I make a huge pot of it. We live on it for a few days and I freeze it.

First I boil 5 lbs of chicken in my biggest pot. When it's done, I cool it for a bit, and then strip the meat off the bones. The bones go back into the pot and stew for a few hours. I then strain out the bones for a clear broth. At this point I would add chicken base to the stock to taste. However, chicken base has wheat starch in it, so I have to use beef base. I chop onions(about 3 large) and carrots(2 lbs?) and celery( 4-5 stocks) very fine, throw it into the pot and bring to a boil, add the meat, and then I add a package of rice noodles, bring to a good rolling boil, cover soup and turn off the heat. Let it sit for 20 minutes, and enjoy. I also use brown or white rice from time to time, but allow for more cooking time at the end.

For me this is an all day affair. It's very healthy, boiling the bones adds calcium to our diets, and that's good because we don't use very much milk anymore.

After doing all the reading recently about how chickens are factory farmed, we have decided to purchase locally grown meat. This was the last of the grocery store chicken in my freezer. I'm thinking in the future, the soup may have more soup base in it and less real meat, cause I know we are going to be paying way more for chicken. We tried going vegetarian for awhile, but all that soy and beans is very gas producing, and it was a relief to eat meat for protein and have our bodies get back to normal. So, we just eat a lot less meat than we used to. I do think of our animal friends, and while I know growing them for food is not ideal, it can be done humanly.

PS, I forgot to add the PARSLEY! And a bit of garlic. But lots of parsley, preferable fresh.

I didn't have to cook tonight

Dave, after thoroughly making me angry earlier, was a knight and chose Costco Sushi for dinner. I still heated up a can of soup for Desi, and made a quick salad...and in my book it was a night free of slaving over a stove.

And the best part, as my now forgiven husband was enjoying his sushi, he commented that we have to get to the China Sun Buffet again. The China Sun Buffet is a fun place in Eugene, complete with Fish pond and Aquariums. They feature a full Chinese buffet, grill (like the Mongolian grill), Sushi and Salad Bar, and a Dessert Bar. It's a bit spendy, and you know, you can never eat enough at these places to make you feel like it's worth it. However, it doesn't hurt to try one night a year (we rarely go out to eat).

I jumped on this hot topic like a starving person. We will be going for my birthday near the end of the month. Lucky ME!!!

Desi enjoyed a day of looking for Groovy girls (belated Birthday gift), and we found them at Frogs and Polliwogs in Albany. She gets a bit over stimulated in toy stores. Just a bit.

Dave and Roy enjoyed a morning hike, Dave change d the oil in his car, and that was good because it rained hard and much for the rest of the day.

Our Story

October is Downs syndrome awareness month. And this is the year my daughter turns 6 this month. It's hard to believe we've come this far. I remember when I was pregnant, and I went swimming with my friend Tina and our kids. I wondered aloud if I would ever be able to teach this baby to swim. Today, I have no doubts, she will probably swim by herself next summer, if not before. She walks, she talks, she's potty trained, she knows her letters and colors as well as most kindergarteners. She takes dance and tumbling lessons. She is pretty normal.....and yet not. She takes more time to learn these things, and she is stubborn as heck about NOT learning to keep her hands to herself. She really loves to love on others....with her whole heart and hands.

We knew Desirae had DS before she was born. I had an amniocentesis, my doctor insisted because I was 41. We also had very extensive, modern ultrasounds and found out she was a girl before we knew she had DS. My doctor told me the results of the amnio at my ob appt in June of 2003. I was heartbroken. When Dave and Nick came home, they thought I had miscarried, I was that upset. They took the news very well, and propped me back up. Being pregnant turned into work at that point. And I was working full time on my feet all day as well.

I had the best OBGYN that money could buy. She was a gift from God. And she made sure we had the best medical care possible. I worked in a hospital kitchen, and one day she came through for lunch, and told my supervisor to "go get her a chair, there's no reason why my patient has to stand while she cashiers". He did. She also told me that "based on our experience, we cannot determine the happiness of another". Wow....that hit me to the soul. Because....

Growing up, we had a family friend with DS. I've referred to Wade before. He really shaped all my thoughts and opinions on the subject. Other than knowing him, I was ignorant. One day when we were playing, running about as kids do....Wade had to stop and sit down. He was born with heart problems. I sat down with him, and he shared that he did not like being different. As a child, I saw his pain, and felt very sad for him. Why I didn't see his joy is beyond me. Later, when we think about life and what might happen, and our options, talking with girlfriends, etc.....I decided that abortion might be a good option for these kids. They should not have to suffer our society. Did you know the brain is not fully developed until age 25? And then it develops in the directions that we take it. I never gave the subject any more thought than I did in my teenage years.

So, one of the people you first talk to is the "Genetics Counselor". And there's more tests, fetal echo cardiogram, extensive ultrasounds that weigh and measure each organ in the baby, monitoring for growth and any developing defects. When the genetics counselor saw us....for the very first time, she had never met me before, she automatically asked....first question....Abortion? Dave and I hadn't seriously talked about THAT. It was the moment of reckoning. And I burst into tears. Dave put his arm around me, and said to her "that won't be happening". It was very odd....she really did not know what to do with us after that point. We asked questions that she couldn't answer. Finally we asked for recommended reading. She got on her computer and googled books on DS. Later I asked the specialized OB doctor (not my regular OB) how many people abort and he told me that it was my own personal decision and I didn't need to know what other people did. I took that at face value. It wasn't til after Desi was born that I learned the abortion rate is about 9o% or higher.

People assume that I am conservative, pro-lifer when they hear that I knew Desi had DS from an amnio. Well, I'm certainly not pro-abortion! I had a talk with a friend recently, we share the exact same views and she calls herself pro life and I call myself pro choice. It was a good laugh, because it showed us how limiting that "label" is and what WE attach to it. Recently I heard someone refer to herself as moderate pro life. I liked that. Maybe I can be a moderate pro life person. Labels become who we are in some ways. Changing the label feels like putting on a tank top in the middle of winter!

The support of our doctors was phenomenal. Not once did I hear a negative of any sort. In August, the ultrasound showed a 2 lb baby instead of the expected 2.5 lbs, and the doctors took me off work. 3 weeks later the end of my 7th month, baby grew a lot, and that was my last ultrasound. We knew she had hair at that point! She was very active, irritatingly so! I used to complain during work, when I was tallying menus and calculating how much food was needed for the next day....I had to THINK and she wanted to turn somersaults.

The only negative came from a close family member of mine who decided my retarded baby was all about her. I was told "you don't know what it's like having to tell people about this". I guess someone had to feel the shame, but it wasn't me. Dave's family was great. His mom came and stayed with us for 10 days when Desirae was born. I was so grateful because I had a c-section and couldn't drive.

Desirae's apgars were 8 and 9. Good scores. She refused to nurse. Her tongue thrusts made latching on impossible, but she drank from a bottle just fine. I tried to nurse for almost 2 months before giving up, even had a lactation consultant and buying special shields, driving myself crazy. My whole life was try to nurse baby, feed baby, pump, over and over all day and night long. Finally everyone gave me permission to give up, so I did.

Desirae Faith is a perfectly healthy child. She's had 3 or 4 ear infections in her entire life. One thyroid test was abnormal. so we tested thyroid yearly until she was 5. She can't hear in very low frequencies and she has astigmatism, needing glasses. Pretty normal stuff. She just let her teeth be cleaned for the very first time yesterday. She has 2 cavities our pediatric dentist is keeping an eye on. She was toilet trained by age 5, with occasional back sliding and accidents. We joked that our puppy caught on to training faster than she did. We have a sense of humor about this, and we say things occasionally that the rest of the world might not think are funny. You know....I remember asking my son if he were stupid when he did a stupid thing. Well, Desirae does many stupid things, but that word is just not PC where she is concerned. Says who??? So, her parents aren't always PC and sometimes we just laugh when we "shouldn't".

We may not be PC, but God considered us to be good enough parents for her. It's a good thing I was already on the road to being the person that God would have me be...Desirae adds to the journey. The life lessons she presents are never ending. How else would I know what strengths and patience lie in reserve if I never needed to use them?

October is Downs Syndrome Awareness Month

There are those out there who are going to blog 31 for 21. I am not that ambitious! I promise to do nothing of the sort. I will try to focus a few blogs on DS in some way. Some of these bloggers blow me away with their dedication to DS. It's a fact in our lives that I accept, and with God's help, we "just do it". I borrowed that saying from Nike and never gave it back. It seems to fit my life nicely. I've learned that perfection is for the other guy. I just do it.

So you see my daughter or someone just like her-----PLEASE use the moment to educate your children on exactly what special needs means. Someone who has special needs has NEEDS! So often I hear "special needs" but I don't see that it's understood what those needs are.

My daughter needs friends. She needs good role models. She needs to be loved and accepted the way she is. She needs flexibility in the people dealing with her. She needs to be held accountable. She needs compassion. She needs forgiveness. She needs the other person to be the better person, because she is not capable of this. She needs someone to take her hand and show her the way, and give her a smile.

Please feel free to USE her and children like her to teach your children. I can't emphasize this enough. So often we teach our kids not to stare, not to point, to stay quiet, to be polite.....but we forget about life's lessons. Kids are naturally curious. And most kids know nothing about DS and other conditions that cause special needs. I've heard from children...."she looks scary", and "is Downs Syndrome a disease?". "How come she acts the way she does?". "It's good that she can talk at her age" (she looks younger than 5). "How come she talks funny?" "Is she going to grow up someday?" And sadder..."Desirae germs" from some really nice children. I've seen a cousin roll her eyes at my daughter. I've seen cousins come to her birthday party and not even acknowledge her presence.

Worse than the pointing and staring, is the not understanding that she is a real person who feels very strongly, and loves very deeply. So USE her as a teaching tool. If you want, you can ask me anything. You can say hi to Desirae, she would love it. Mom's with kids who have special needs want your children to be better educated on this subject. Better education means fewer "Desirae germs", and more real SMILES!

I'm done with the Blackberries!

These berries have been a thorn in my side for all of Aug and Sept. I finally gave up. The freezer is full enough. I gave up when I started getting hives from picking. I will have to wear surgical gloves in the future.

The above picture shows the guard canes the plant throws out. Huge thorny branches we have to cut back to get to the berries.

Pictures of the brambles under the berries. Tigerlily likes to run out and hide in these. Roy avoids them at all costs. Reminds me of the Brer Rabbit stories I read to Nick as a child.

The bushes were loaded this year. It was a beautiful sight. I have enough put away to make jam, to make cakes and cobblers, and I could have done way more, but it rained, and the rain dilutes the flavor and makes them mushy. They turned sour on the branch. Summer is over.

School Days

Desirae is modeling her new haircut.

Saying good bye as the bus comes

Here comes the bus!
Roy is so excited! Our girl is coming back home!

The dog walks the girl back to the house.

Where they play in the sand box together.

And Desi feeding her doll dinner to end the day.

First day of School

She is so Happy, she loves school and teachers and kids---and learning. I am so happy to find my house getting cleaner, having some free time. These past 3 weeks have been very hard. The constant multi-tasking took it's toll, and I just wanted to shut down. So grateful for school starting.

Desirae is napping right now. She came home just worn out from her second day at school.

The new camera/phone is great, and I have alot of blogging to do in the future.

Busy, Busy

August flew by, not sure where it went. It buzzed past me in a whirlwind. This gardening stuff is very time consuming. Watering by hand, because we are on city water and pay for it, takes 2 hrs. We've had 20 days of over 90 degree heat. In that heat, I have to water everything every day. Add the harvesting, and the cooking from scratch.....I discovered my days are centered around feeding the family. What happened??? Because of our holistic approach to eating, I imagine. Next thing I'll be raising chickens for eggs. This is the little house with the white picket fence, where I get to be a stay at home mom. I never dreamed it would be for a child with special needs who needs alot of supervision.

With Dave losing his job last October, and also our health benefits....I am now campaigning in my own way for Universal Health care. So, a portion of my time is devoted to reading and learning, and posting on my Face Book. I was afraid of doing this. I don't want to push people away or offend them, but God has made me fearless in this endeavor. I have a few friends who support this and that's all the encouragement I've needed.

I used to use my blog on Multiply in a more thoughtful way. With this blog, I discovered using pictures. In the future I hope to incorporate the two a bit more.

Desi starts school on Tuesday. I am so happy! The bus picks her up at 7 am and drops her at 12:50. That's almost 6 hrs a day of freedom! I can make jam starting next week! I love my girl to death. I also love my free time. This summer I had mostly girl, and free time was a huge luxury I didn't get but a few times. I think I might miss her a bit about the second or third week in.

Mr. Hoffman is finally employed full time. We should have health benefits in 3 months. I will never forget the fear factor of David knowing his meds were going to run out and not knowing how to get more. God was good, and we found out that he doesn't need meds, he just needs to eat right. But I pray for those who have to choose what to go without each month in order to buy their medicine.

I'm also excited that life will return to normal, and I won't have to pinch every penny twice very soon. I made a game of it, but at times, it was tiring.

The camera has been packed away since our last camping trip. I'm getting a new phone soon with a camera and a chip that will load directly into my computer. A Sprint upgrade. I am excited about it.

Well, laundry need folding, there's a bucket of plums looking at me and more to pick from the tree. Blackberries need picking. Life awaits....

My words to live by

My cousin posted her words on her site, so I'm following suite.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
~~Rudyard Kipling



Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

My Little Camper

About a month ago she started doing something new. She freaks out in vaulted bathrooms. Quite literally.

So, I made provisions, bringing along the training potty when we went camping, knowing all that might be available would be a more primitive facility. When we finally found our spot in the last camp ground in Oregon that weekend.....I coaxed her into the bathroom. She was not at all receptive. When we were finished, the girl ran out to her Daddy shouting:

"Daddy! Daddy! It's a WATER POTTY!!!"

Happy Anniversary!

It's been 9 whole years since I moved in with David. This year feels special to me for some reason. I think it's because we are home. Last year I was still unpacking and feeling quite unfamiliar. This year it feels better, and I have my house and my GARDEN!

We were actually married on Mar. 12 2005 at Grace Lutheran in Sebeka, MN. But niether of us remember that date. It comes and goes, and we might recall it a month later. We had always picked this date, July 28 but, it came too late the year we decided we needed to officially tie the knot. Dave's parents were married on 7-27, mine on 7-29, and it was this time of year that I moved in with Dave.

The second day of living with Dave, it was decided that I needed a car. I had a good down payment, but no credit. He signed for my brand new Ford Focus. That was all the committment I needed to give him my heart! No one had ever done something that huge for me before. And he continues to do these things for me, with us working as team to get things done and accomplish goals. It's a really awesome thing when two people work together with the same goal, and the same moral compass. Last night he watered for me, and then did the dishes.

The most awesome part is knowing how much I'm loved. David is God's love to me in person. How else do you describe the unconditonal love of a spouse?

The frog kettle

Saturday morning....nothing to pick or water. Mr. Hoffman took the dog on a hike. Desi is chasing Tigerlily all over the house. And I seem to have found the time to blog on the frog kettle.

Here it is. Daughter tossed the whistle under the porch, and I haven't retrieved it yet. The lid is still sitting out back with the flower pots. Dave has yet to drill holes in the bottom of this thing. I've never drilled metal, so waiting for him....someday. It belonged to Dave's mom (Lynn), and Dave burned it dry and ruined the finish. I saved it for a planter. It's growing frogs.

A new frog this morning!

July Garden Update

The cucumber hill~

The Pumpkins

Looks like a bumper crop of pumpkin this year. We already have many that look like this, and they are still growing and flowering.

Not everything is doing great. The spaghetti squash leaves a bit to be desired.

The Roma Tomatoes

This will be our first ripe Early Girl.

The beans are producing a meal every 2-3 days now.

And so are the sugar peas.

The onions

The lettuce. Mr. Hoffman doesn't seem to mind the bitterness. My second planting did not take off as expected. I think it may be too hot right now. It's a learning curve for me at this point. I planted more again
The bell peppers are doing well. The hot peppers are not doing so hot. Not sure why. I worry that I over water them, then I worry they are not getting enough. Sometimes these things just take off, with little regard to their care. So, I'm waiting on the hot peppers right now.

The Blackberry Hill

They really belong to our neighbors. We've cut them back to their property. Their back yard is very "natural". I don't see much changing any time soon.

Looks like enough to share this year!

And some of them are already getting ripe. More picking.....I know Mr. Hoffman needs to become more involved when I look at these berries.

The Butternut Squash Hill

Some of the plants are doing very well. And some....well....let's take a look!

A nice healthy summer squash looking specimen. I'm happy with this plant.

Pretty variegated leaves. The plants of this variety all look great.

And this poor thing, looks like the spaghetti squash that I have planted elsewhere.

I went back to Walmart for more of their Burpee seeds. Seems Burpee recalled them. All these plants came from packages called "Butternut". It may be a surprise to see what they really are.

Gabriel April 2003-July 2009 "He left his mark on me"

I look down at my thigh and I see the scar from the recent puncture wounds inflicted by a cat who got freaked by the dog and girl while sitting on my lap. It seems strange to see the scar and cat is gone.

Gabriel. We adopted him before the girl was born from the Hayward CA animal shelter. They have these little rooms you can take the prospective pet into and spend time with it, get to know it, before you take it home. David and Nick picked him out, and then brought me in to meet him. He was a little timid, but warmed up quickly. He had short hair----he was lying!. He appealed to Dave and my boy. I wanted the orange Manx instead. 2 against one....I lost.

So, we did the paper work and took him home. I discovered he had a fondness for mac and cheese, and he had earmites. When we took him back to be fixed, the doc fixed the earmites as well. I surmised he had been born and raised thus far, outside. With us, he was to be an inside kitty. I declined the feline luekemia vaccine because if he was going to get it, he had already contracted it before he came to us.

Nick named him as we were picking out the name of the baby. Baby was to be a girl, so I asked Nick what his favorite boy name was, and he decided on "Gabriel". He grew rather quickly in body, but he stayed a baby in his mind for a very long time. Truthfully, I think he was a bit slow for a cat. I would say that he was too stupid to go outside, he wouldn't last long. Dave called him "Zorro!" because of his black mask. I would say that he wasn't bright enough to be Zorro! and we laughed. Gabriel would forget to swallow when he was petted. Then he would drool. EEwww! He must have been weaned too early. He was my baby before the girl was born. When she arrived, he did his best to reclaim his spot on my chest. I would be holding the baby and him, and before I knew it, he inched the baby to the outside and landed his rightful place in the middle of my person. Before too long, he gave up, and Dave became "his person".

He moved to Minnesota with us, along with his brother Dino. Dino was allowed outside, and met his demise on the farm. I am very glad that I never let Gabriel out. Grandma was not too fond of house cats, but she did seem to enjoy him a bit. I taught him to kiss my chin, and Grandma did not find that trait as endearing as I did. Then he made the move to Oregon with us and claimed Tigerlily for a sister. She did not like him for a very long time. After about a year, you could hear the 2 of them running through the house like a little herd of elephants. After we bought our house in the country, we adopted Roy, our yellow lab. Gabriel and Roy had a few different games they played. Mornings always found Roy on the couch, and Gabriel on the window sill next to him.

Recently, I picked the cat up and discovered he had lost a lot of weight. At his most, Gabriel was 15 lbs. I knew he probably had leukemia, based on his past, and his condition. This is not the first cat I've put down with the disease. Dave and I talked, and we agreed that when he seemed too sick to enjoy life, we would put him down. There was no more game playing with Roy. Desi was not allowed to pick him up. The day came....and we had a Marley-esk burial, and started our own pet cemetery. Desirae knows that "Gabriel died". Tonight she wanted to see him when we were down at the tree, and I inspected the grave. Pets are good for children. They provide an understanding about death in a kinder and gentler way. I explained that Gabriel's spirit left his body. I think she almost gets it.

Throughout my life I've had many cats, and other pets that "have left their mark" on me. There was Shep, my first dog who left a huge scar on my heart. The little black kitten that earned me the nickname "Boo-Hoo Brenda Brown" when she was hit by a car. There was Prince, the first cat I put down. James, who literally left his mark on both Nick and I, both of us have a scar on our thigh. There's the scar on my wrist from Athena. And I imagine these puncture marks from Gabriel will fade in time. I almost wish they wouldn't.

Chicken Stir Fry in Garlic Sauce featuring Peas and Egg plant.

Dinner tonight was really good, so I thought I would share what I did.

I stir fried 2 cups of chicken with 3 cloves minced fresh garlic. (used minced garlic, it has a slight different flavor than crushed). I added a few dashes of soy sauce as it finished cooking and then removed it from the pan and set it aside.

I added 1 onion, chunked

4 stocks of celery chunked

2 cups of pea pods

1 egg plant chunked

to the pan (sprayed with Pam).

I first stir fry the onion and celery for a few minutes then added the peas for a few minutes and then dumped in the eggplant. (different cooking times for different veggies). I also added about 5 cloves of minced garlic. When I was satisfied with how done it was, I added the chicken and made my sauce.

1 c of water with 1 1/2 teaspoons of beef base. I then added 1 1/2 tablespoons of cornstarch and a dash of soy sauce. Poured it into the stir fry. It was a bit thick and kind of salty, so I added my secret ingredient---Apple Juice. I just poured it in....maybe 2/3 cup. Enough to thin out the sauce and cut the saltiness. Served over brown rice.

It was a hit...at least for me. Dave is not so crazy for eggplant. Desi does not eat anything green or resembling a veggie. Her loss, more for me! (joking) .

Salsa

Tomato Mango Salsa

6 diced fresh tomatoes

1/2 large onion, diced

2 minced jalapenos(to taste, we like it hot)

1 diced mango

a lot of minced cilantro

3 cloves garlic, minced

1/4 c vinegar

salt to taste

When in a pinch, I take the jar of Pace and add fresh jalapenos and cilantro. Such a huge difference in the flavor. I also open a can of diced tomatoes and add onion, garlic, jalapeno, cilantro (lots!) vinegar and salt. Or I chop my own tomatoes (the yummiest) and add the rest of the ingredients.

We love Mexican in every way, shape and form. I have no recipes, I throw stuff together and it works. Mexican is very forgiving. And forget those "packets" of seasonings. I use chili powder, cumin, crushed red pepper, dried cilantro, garlic, and salt. I use tomatoes for moisture. I do use the cans of re fried beans. They are so easy compared to cooking up your own beans (which is not hard at all, and I've done it). Years ago, I lived in the "barrio"(the neighbor hood) and was taught Mexican cooking by some of my neighbors. They used soy sauce in their fajitas! I've never made tamales or tortillas. Tamales look very time consuming, and tortillas are too cheap to justify making them from scratch. Spanish rice....is rice and a jar of salsa. How easy is that??

So, later, for Tami, I'll come up with some recipes. I have a yummy enchilada one I'm thinking of.