Salsa

Tomato Mango Salsa

6 diced fresh tomatoes

1/2 large onion, diced

2 minced jalapenos(to taste, we like it hot)

1 diced mango

a lot of minced cilantro

3 cloves garlic, minced

1/4 c vinegar

salt to taste

When in a pinch, I take the jar of Pace and add fresh jalapenos and cilantro. Such a huge difference in the flavor. I also open a can of diced tomatoes and add onion, garlic, jalapeno, cilantro (lots!) vinegar and salt. Or I chop my own tomatoes (the yummiest) and add the rest of the ingredients.

We love Mexican in every way, shape and form. I have no recipes, I throw stuff together and it works. Mexican is very forgiving. And forget those "packets" of seasonings. I use chili powder, cumin, crushed red pepper, dried cilantro, garlic, and salt. I use tomatoes for moisture. I do use the cans of re fried beans. They are so easy compared to cooking up your own beans (which is not hard at all, and I've done it). Years ago, I lived in the "barrio"(the neighbor hood) and was taught Mexican cooking by some of my neighbors. They used soy sauce in their fajitas! I've never made tamales or tortillas. Tamales look very time consuming, and tortillas are too cheap to justify making them from scratch. Spanish rice....is rice and a jar of salsa. How easy is that??

So, later, for Tami, I'll come up with some recipes. I have a yummy enchilada one I'm thinking of.

My Passion

The garden gate from a distance....(click on the picture to enlarge)

The lettuce and beets. The compost pile behind it. I'm learning about lettuce. There's new lettuce coming up right now. The older stuff is getting bitter. And I'm planning on planting another row soon.

The onions and radishes and another row of beets just coming up.

Tomatoes, carrots and radishes.

Peas, carrots and bell peppers.

Hot peppers and tomotoes.

Green beans
If you look close you will see a baby tomato. The all have little ones setting right now.

The spinach picture disappeared in my attempts to blog, and I was not going to start over to get it in the correct spot. Rest assured there is spinach and cilantro. And we have a few volunteer sunflowers as well.

The Hills are Alive!

The Blackberries in bloom on the hill between us and our upper neighbor.

The rocky hill that I sowed wild flowers into.

The "everything but the kitchen sink" hill. In the foreground is pumpkin. We also have zucchini, yellow squash and cucumbers, roses, and trees.

The cucumber hill in the foreground, and the butternut squash hill in the background.

Our Free Time.....

is spent seeking out view like this one of Sahailie Falls. This was how we spent our Sunday 2 weeks ago. We talk about how this is like going to church for us. We know that God exists when we see the beauty surrounding us. We know man exists when we see the floating water bottle in the bubbling river nearby. We've explored this area twice now, and may be getting ready for a camping trip when the weather gets a bit warmer. This past weekend, we had to start a fire to keep warm on our day trip/picnic with friends. Desi would play in the water for just a few minutes, and then join us infront of the fire to warm up. A fire, good friends, dogs happily tearing through the woods playing....all is good, even on a cold Oregon day.

Hot Dog

Here's our boy Roy. He is now 1 yr old. We discovered that he doesn't much like the warm weather. We should have known after all the winter swimming he does in those cold mountain rivers. So far, it's not been hot enough to start up the air conditioner. Roy will be in heaven when that thing puts out cold air for him. He's a bit happier in front of the fan. He's also eating less. He holds out for people food in a big way now. He was so excited when I brought last night's hamburgers in from the grill, and not thrilled when Dave served him the same old - same old dog food.

We watched Marly and Me recently. The whole family loved it! We joked that Marly might be a bad influence on Roy-boy. Roy is a very GOOD dog. He is so laid back and quiet, yet full of spirit and affection. He is not like Marly in personality, though, in looks....you might have a hard time telling them apart. Dave thinks we need to watch Lassie to make up for Marly's bad influence!

Praying for Patience?

I always joke that I will never again pray for patience. In answering, God gave me Desirae! She is a practice in daily patience, as are most young children.

Those who knew me when I was younger, might recall the horrible temper I had, and the tantrums to go with it. That lasted until my 30's, when I found my home in Alanon, and I found the God of my understanding, and I recieved a measure of God's Grace. Today, I only struggle with my temper when I fail to take care of myself and do too much to the point of exhaustion. God blessed me with sweet tempered children, and also with the knowledge to parent in such a way that my children never needed to resort to tantrums. Nick tried a tantrum once. It was very sad. He broke his jungle book picture, among other things. He was 4 or 5. It never happened again. He just "acted out" when he couldn't control his surroundings. When I was planning the move to Minn, he started a port-a-potty on fire. On school grounds. He was expelled from school. I still don't know how to view that move....whether it was right or wrong. I don't think things are so black and white.

I was very disappointed the night of Desi's dance recital. It was the WORST Desirae had performed, and it was "the most important". Today, I was informed that people "can't stop talking about her". She was the "show stopper". I guess every year there is one child who steals the limelight. This year it was my daughter. Last year it was her friend Peter. So atleast we have good company!

Desirae is a good teacher for me....I'm learning to roll with punches a bit more. I'm also learning my limits. There is no doubt that special needs kids are taxing on their parents. She can do the same naughty thing over and over....20 times in one day....and still not get that I don't like it! After a day like that, I don't do much except CHILL and engage in a series of time outs. One night recently, I did resort to yelling. It was the 3 rd time in a week that she found the sunscreen, and used it on her backpack, the table, and carpet in her room. The third time was over my limit. A dear friend told me that it was not wrong to yell at her....that perhaps it made an impact. That would be nice. It's not my past experience. Experience says that I need to be more aware of the location of the sunscreen.

I know that I don't have it bad in comparison to other moms with children who have special needs. And yet....that comparing minimizes my experience. I am very good at burying my emotions by using comparison.

So....I was disappointed. It doesn't happen often, and it's not right or wrong. It just was. Today,my daughter was her adorable self, and we are switching to Tumbling instead of Dance for the summer. A new experience!

Dance recital

Last Night was Desirae's dance recital. It didn't go well. She did a few moves with her classmates at first, and then she took the feathers out of her hair and shook them during the rest of the her dance. When it was over, she threw her black feather hairpiece into the audience. Then she didn't leave the stage, she just stood there....waiting, I guess, for the boy who brought her feathers back to her, and the older dancer who took her off the stage. She was entertaining others said. There are days when I just wish she were more like her peers.

In these pictures, she has a cute little skirt over her leotard. But when mom wasn't available to keep her looking straight, she managed to mess it up.

Part of me thinks, oh, heck....go with the flow. The other part thinks "I should have" been in the back (instead of the audience) and made sure she understood exactly what was expected of her. I "should have" talked to her more yesterday about the dance. I should have glued her feathers in her hair! I can "should" all over myself when not accepting that God was in charge. Those feathers have been a problem since the beginning. Maybe next year we'll pass on the hair piece. Maybe I'll be working so there won't be dance next year! Sometimes it takes too much self discipline to make me make her do it!

After I wrote my last blog, it hit me.....that how as a child I was told our friend had DS because his mom smoked----so do people think that of me. It hit me like a ton of bricks one night after writing the blog, recalling a close family member grilling me on "what caused this" and a complete stranger asking me if I smoked or drank while I was pregnant. Of course I know what others think of me is none of my business, and I am powerless over what they think and their expectations of me. It just never really occurred to me that some people might blame ME! Most of what I get from others is so positive, it makes it easy to overlook the callous negativity of a few.

Thank you to those who send me heart touching poems about being a "special mother". And thank you to the complete strangers who think my daughter is adorable.

The fun of dance is not in the recital. It's in Tuesday mornings at practice. It's in the friendships we are making. It was so cute seeing Peter dance beside Desi, and you could tell he was trying to tell her to do the dance while he was dancing. At least that's what I saw at one moment. And, dancing is not all about performing....it's about having fun, and learning discipline.

Ever since Desi was a baby, she's loved song and motion. So, we'll continue with the dance because it's good for her. And for me.

On being a Mom of a Child with Special Needs.

Simply in choosing the title for this blog, I had to change it, because the first one was not PC. Desirae is not a "special needs kid", she is a "child with special needs". I'm pretty darn relaxed about the "language" and have caught heck for it more than once from other mom's of children with special needs. We learn that we don't have Down syndrome kids, but kids with DS. We don't use the word "retarded", but "mentally challenged". I've heard "mentally disabled" and object to that term, even though it's PC. When something is retarded, it means that it's slow. When something has been disabled, it doesn't work anymore. The new language doesn't always make sense to me.

Desirae has Downs Syndrome. It's also called Trisomy 21. She has an extra chromosome on the 21st set. There are many chromosomal abnormalities children can be born with, and Trisomy 21 is just one of them. It's not caused by smoking, drinking, or drugs during pregnancy. It is genetic, the luck of the draw, and the odds go up for older mothers. I was 41 when Desi was born. I grew up having a family friend with DS. It was speculated that it was because the mother smoked. We were so uneducated about this condition. We used the term "Mongoloid". Today, people gasp at that term. I don't. Some perfectly lovely people have told me what an angel my daughter is, and then went on to ask if she was a Mongoloid. How can you get angry at people who would refer to her as an angel, but be uneducated in the terminology of Downs Syndrome? So I struggle with being PC, because I know it's what the Downs Syndrome community seeks, but it's not high on my list of importance.

What is high on my list of importance is Acceptance by the community, and better education, more opportunities, more genetic research, etc. I recall parenting my son, who is almost 20 now. It's heart breaking when your normal child is left out. But, it's normal for a special needs child to be left out. My heroes are the people who remember to include my daughter and others like her. Those who might go out of their way to make her day. It happens more often than not, and usually by perfect strangers. I thank God for human Angels! It's not something you notice unless you are very close to a person with a disability. Some people look away because they are uncomfortable. When pictures are taken and posted, it's often that pictures of my daughter are not included. But on the other hand, the special attention she gets from certain individuals more than makes up for the ignorance of a few. Most of our interactions with others are positive and healthy. But, as she gets older, the negative interactions are increasing. Other older children have been seen rolling their eyes in response to her. I think it's sad that some parents don't use the moment to teach acceptance and tolerance.

I am grateful to have had a person with DS in my past. I was not afraid of the diagnosis too much. I had compassion for people with this condition. And I had taught my son to be compassionate to those less fortunate in all areas. However, what I am learning about myself sometimes, is not the prettiest. I've always put much emphasis on knowledge. The capacity for learning is bestowed by God, just like being pretty, or healthy, or strong, or tall or thin. I've had to face a prejudice in myself in this area, and I'm learning new stuff about accepting ALL others who are not the brightest people one might know.

I'm learning about "innocence". My daughter does some things that could be characterized as "defiant". "Don't get into Mommy's jewelry" and she does, and she's been told over and over and does it anyway. Along the same lines are "Don't touch the hot stove" and she does, and she gets burned even though she's been told over and over. And then, there's dog poop...."don't step in it", and she does, even though she's been told over and over. When you link all these things together, you figure out that getting into Mommy's jewelry is exactly the same as burning herself or stepping in dog poop. She just doesn't get it----yet. This has been a huge lesson for me who believes that every one does something for a reason or a pay off. The reason for touching the hot stove is curiosity. The pay off is getting burned? Logic doesn't apply! Consequently, I find it difficult to punish "childish things". So, I tend to reserve punishment for endangering herself or others. She loves to pick up her little cousin, and finds herself in time out. She runs away and gets a smack on the bottom. I've heard that "she plays you" and I'm learning when I'm being played and when I'm not. Now that she's 5, it's getting easier to tell the difference. I ignore her when I think the tears and complaining are not real.

But mostly, she's a very joyful person to be around. She adores other children. She gives great hugs. She is not shy. She loves to Party. Yesterday we attended a graduation party for a family member and today has been filled with her memories of yesterday. "It's Party time!" in her own words, because her parents are too old to say those words anymore. And we even heard yesterday that "it's Uncle Barry Time!". Her uncle is head injured and his capacity for knowledge is not great either. I'm thankful that because of my daughter, I can apply tolerance to her uncle as well. I'm hoping to be able to take this a step further to all of humanity....like the people who ride their bikes on the wrong side of the road....or the driver of the car who puts on his right blinker and makes a left turn. The lessons are great when you tune into people like my daughter, and the most wonderful people I know are the ones who see the worth in every child.

Our first Salad

We are enjoying our first salad from the garden. Lettuce, spinach, radishes and green onions. I rushed out before the weather on thursday and collected it all. We make big salads about 3 or 4 times a week. I can't wait til we have tomatoes and peppers to add.

Golden Rain Tree

The neighbor's tree is Spectacular this year! Click on the pic to enlarge.

Desirae's Hair Cut

The right side----not bad.

I love the left side. It lays perfectly.

We just washed toothpaste from her bangs, so they are a little wet, and looking very wispy in the middle.

The back has a nice wave this time.

This haircut has been trial and error. Mom (me) doesn't quite know how to cut it, and girl squirms A LOT. This is the 3rd time, and I'm finally getting it. It's called an "A-line". I love the short back for Desirae, who cries when her hair needs brushed out. I love the longer, more feminine front. I think it looks cute on her. I took the plunge first. A year ago, I cut off the long stuff, and then in Dec I went really short with this haircut. I used what I could gather from my own cut to do on Desirae's hair. Hers is more extreme with a longer front.

I've always used my kids as guinea pigs. My challenge when Nick was this age was the "mushroom" cut. Remember? the bottom shaved and the top left longer ---- and variations of the cut. It's always fun, especially the first time when you have no idea how it's going to turn out.